Order
by CoryphaeusRex
Summary: Sequel to Chaos. It had started as a laugh. Marauder-Era, SiriusxRemus, big long PWP for y'all. M rated for a reason.
1. It Had Started As A Laugh

**Author's Notes:** Yes, this is a sequel to Chaos. No, I do not own Harry Potter. Yes, there is more slash. Yes, there is even sex in this one. Rather a lot, since you ask. Yes, there's worse language in this one, too, and more frequently. This is the second part of Demensha's birthday present, and bigods she'd better bloody love it. Yes, I do accept reviews as though they were showers of roses and glitter.

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Sirius had never been able to pay attention to the majority of his lessons at the best of times, with distraction so readily available in the form of enchanted paper aeroplanes, doodling in textbooks, and if all else failed, staring out of the window until his eyes blurred. But the protective cocoon of Remus and Peter, dragging his attention back to the task at hand, had kept he and James from actively causing havoc in a class, at least until a few weeks ago.

Now it was even harder to apply himself (that was what all the professors said, a_pply_ yourself, Sirius) to his studies because he'd had a big, huge, unavoidable distraction planted in front of him.

Remus.

It had started as a laugh, a fallback, because suave as Sirius thought he was, the girls fell for it less than he might have hoped, and teenage boys need some way of occupying their libidos in the quiet times when tits are unavailable. They'd sneak off to cupboards, mess about, have more fun because of the fear of being caught.

And therein lay the problem. Sirius was finding it increasingly difficult to draw the line between the times when he and Remus were just mates, laughing with the others and generally being as obnoxious as possible; and the times when they were... well, more, engaging in sweaty and furtive activities in the cupboards and dark places of the castle.

Every time Remus brushed his hand when handing him potion ingredients, a little cold shiver ran up his spine. Every time they stood huddled together at the Astronomy telescopes it was all Sirius could do not to slide his arms round Remus, possibly kiss him on the neck, just breathe in that scent he was getting so very accustomed to. He was getting regular hard-ons at inappropriate moments when thinking about skipping lessons with Remus, and it would probably be best not to talk about the times in the dormitory at night when he lay awake, one hand down his boxers, trying not to swear at the ceiling.

He didn't want to come out, cause massive drama, never have a comfortable conversation with James again, and most importantly deprive the girls of Hogwarts of a chance at his affections. The Great Tit Drought seemed to be lasting longer than usual, but Sirius hadn't given up hope just yet. But he had begun, dimly, in the back of his mind, to realise that maybe he did want something else. Not to give Remus up entirely, if he didn't have regular snogs he'd fall out of practice and that would be terrible, but just... something. He wasn't sure what, but if he could have a private conversation with Remus that didn't involve sticking tongues down each other's throats, he'd be sure to figure it out.


	2. Don't Flatter Yourself

Sirius' back hit a set of shelves, dislodging a few broom handles and rattling a few jars that he didn't really want to look too closely at. Remus closed the door with one foot, plunging them into darkness before pouncing on his prey, capturing Sirius' mouth for a deep kiss. He was beginning to grow stubble, and Sirius could feel it scratching at his face, a now familiar part of the experience. He wondered if he'd ever get used to _not_ having that sensation twinned with a kiss, as he tried to gently disentangle Remus from about his neck.

"When I said I wanted a word, Moony, this isn't exactly what I meant."

"Well you shouldn't have said private with such a wink-wink nudge-nudge undertone, then," Remus said, nipping at Sirius' earlobe.

"I didn't mean to- listen, _please_ get away from my neck so I can concentrate- we can't keep doing this."

"Ah." Remus fully let go of Sirius and there was some scraping, indicating he'd sat down. In the pitch darkness, he could have been miles away, once the clattering stopped. "I wondered when we'd have this conversation."

"You knew this wasn't meant to be serious. Just a bit of messing about, a laugh."

"So you've decided to call this a day then? Find yourself a girl with tits the size of melons and get your end away at last?" Remus didn't sound at all bitter or even surprised. "Good for you."

"No, it isn't... I don't..." Sirius started forward, banged his shin on something unforgiving and metal, and swore. His hands reached out blindly in the darkness, and he connected with something warm and cloth-covered, clinging onto it and hauling himself along based on it. It took him a few moments of exploring to realise it was Remus' thigh. He felt a warm hand laid on top of its own.

"It's okay, Sirius. I won't cry myself to sleep or anything, don't flatter yourself too much."

"I don't want to stop," Sirius said, forcing the words out before he had a chance to think about them. "That wasn't what I was trying to say."

There was a pause.

"Then what are you trying to say?"

"I can't do any of my work while you're there, I haven't done a single piece of homework in months, even your perfect grade average is suffering, by all reasons we _should_ give this up but I don't want to."

Nothing but silence. Remus' hand slid off his own, and Sirius groped in the darkness until he found it again, and interlaced his fingers with the other boy's. He leaned forwards, until he could feel Remus' shallow breaths on his face.

"I think I want this to be a real thing."

"A real thing?" Remus said, and Sirius falteringly laid a hand on his cheek, brushing through his hair, focusing on the tactile sensations in the dark.

"I want to be able to think of you as mine, and I want you to think of me as yours."

Remus blinked, and Sirius saw the faint gleam of his eyes disappear and reappear. He could still feel those shallow breaths on his face, but Remus didn't seem as though he was able or willing to speak.

"Say something, Moony, don't leave me hanging." He could feel the volcanic blush rising in his face, and was glad of the dark.

"What do you want me to say?" Remus said quietly.

"Well it'd be nice if you thought it was a good idea," Sirius said, "unless you want to find a girl with tits the size of melons and all that."

"You want to make our arrangement exclusive," Remus' voice was dull, flat in the hot air of the cupboard, "so I'm the only person you get to sneak into cupboards with and if you go off with anyone else I have the right to be jealous."

"The way you say it sounds so childish."

"Isn't it? Kissing in broom cupboards and trying not to have anyone see. It's one step away from 'you show me yours, I'll show you mine'."

"So what do you want?" Sirius asked, clinging onto hopes of an optimistic end to their conversation. "Hand-holding, flowers, a Valentine?"

"If I asked you to go public with me, would you?"

It was the question Sirius had been dreading. He'd say yes, for the hell of it, but then he might be asked to prove it. Could he walk down a corridor holding Remus' hand, kiss him, even on the cheek, in front of Gryffindor house? Could he deal with the whispers every time he went upstairs to bed, with the other boys' inevitable retreat to the other end of the dormitory? Without the sight of Remus to persuade him, it wasn't a strong case.

"Yes," he said, and heard Remus laugh.

"Oh, Sirius, don't lie."

"I'm _not_," Sirius said, hotly. "If you asked me too, I'd snog you in front of the whole house. I'd... I'd get on my knees and suck you off if you wanted."

He felt Remus' arms slide round his neck just as the heat in his face hit almost unbearable levels. There was a laugh from just in front of him.

"And if you blushed as badly as that I'd catch fire," Remus chuckled, but kissed him anyway. "I won't ask you to hold my hand or take me on dates to the Three Broomsticks. But I think I'd like to think of you as mine." He pulled Sirius closer and lowered his voice. "And maybe, some time, a bit of 'you show me yours' would be okay."

"Not childish at all?" Sirius grinned in the dark.

"Not the way I'm thinking of," Remus laughed.


	3. A Depressingly Frequent Occurence

There were snores from the rest of the dormitory. Sirius sometimes envied the ability of James and Peter to fall asleep in less than ten seconds, but then he wasn't exactly trying for slumber. He had his hand round his semi-hard cock, a depressingly frequent occurrence lately. Something about his liaisons with Remus had made him prone to be aroused at the slightest provocation. He was sure he was getting cramp in his wrist.

His eyes were closed, concentrating on the vision of Remus which was becoming a predictable inner-eyelid porn film, as his hand began to work faster.

A whoosh of cold hit his side, and he almost yelled in surprise, fighting to pull his boxers up to cover his decency and wipe the guilty look from his face. The covers settled over another body, which kissed him on the mouth. There was a familiar taste to those lips.

"Moony?" he mouthed, not daring to speak and wake everyone else up.

Remus leaned over to whisper in his ear. "You looked sort of busy. I thought you might need a hand." As he spoke his palm slid down Sirius' side, around his hip and forward, to run his fingertips over the head of Sirius' cock, which the boy hadn't quite managed to put away in time. Sirius shivered, and suppressed a groan. "Of course, I could go back to bed if you don't want to be disturbed."

"God, no," Sirius hissed, voice hoarse.

"I thought you might say that," Remus whispered, as his hand curled around Sirius' shaft and began to stroke, far too gently. Sirius clung to his shoulders, resisting the urge to grab Remus' wrist and show him how to do it _properly_. But then, Remus already knew. His grip tightened, not too much but just so Sirius could feel it working on him. He was now rock-hard, and if Remus left off now he'd never be able to get to sleep with a boner like that.

He kissed messily at Remus' neck, trying to keep quiet but trying to make his gratitude known. He could feel Remus' erection against his hip, and in between kisses he managed to get his hand down the front of the pyjamas the other boy slept in. Working at a pace that would have suited him for a while, he was surprised to find it too much for Remus, who was biting at his lip in between kisses and faltering in his work on Sirius' cock. He slowed a little, and the kisses became just that again. Still, it didn't take long before he reached the point of no return.

"Oh god, Remus!" he breathed, between silent gasps.

Somewhere over the other side of the room, there was the squeak of a floorboard and Remus froze, whipping his hand away from Sirius and yanking the covers up over his head. Sirius had been right on the verge of coming, and the thrill of almost being caught tipped him over the edge. Even without Remus' hand, he came, sweating with the effort of not making a sound.

There was a shuffling sound, and Sirius, still holding his breath, looked down past the end of his bed to see Peter trudging to the toilet, eyes bleary and hair tousled. Once the door to the bathroom had closed, Sirius let all his breath out in one go.

"I think I'm going to kill Wormtail," he whispered in Remus' ear.

"It's okay," Remus murmured, with a sigh. "I did what I came here to do."

He kissed Sirius, and climbed out of the bed, straightening his pyjama pants before slipping between his own sheets.

Sirius was halfway to sleep before he realised that he'd left Remus unsatisfied.


	4. Pot, Kettle, Black

"You're a vain sod, you are," James chuckled, finally leaving the bathroom to Sirius, who was loitering under the pretence of combing his hair.

"Pot, kettle, black, I think, there," Remus said, emerging from the cubicle where he'd set up camp for the past half hour. He met Sirius' eyes in the mirror, with a small smile.

"I'm sorry about last night," Sirius said without preamble. "You shouldn't have left, I'd have finished what I started, you know."

"Well Wormtail frightened the life out of me a_nd _my knob," Remus said, with an embarrassed shrug. "Didn't want you thinking I'd gone off you suddenly."

"No chance of that," Sirius said, turning to take Remus in his arms. "I'm irresistible, haven't you heard?"

"Oh, I wouldn't say _completely_ irresistible," Remus attempted to disentangle himself from the embrace, but Sirius just held on tighter, running his hands beneath Remus' robes, pulling him in close for a kiss that crushed the breath out of him. "Someone could walk in, you know."

"They're all in class, it's not going to be a problem," Sirius said, beginning to untuck Remus' shirt from his belt. Remus batted his hands away.

"Oh, not in _here_," he pulled a face. "There've been cleaner sewers."

"Common room?" Sirius said with a wicked grin, and was rewarded by a blush from Remus.

"We can't. We'll traumatise all the skiving second-years."

"They need to learn the facts of life sooner or later, Moony, better from us than from Playwizard."

"What's gotten into you, first it's cupboards now it's the common room fireplace!"

"That'd be sexy," Sirius said, although right at that moment he'd have made out with Remus just about anywhere. "Nice roaring fire, it'd be romantic and all that shit."

"-and all that shit. Wow, you know how to make the moment sparkle, don't you, Sirius?"

"Shut up," Sirius said, as his sharp hearing picked up the outer bathroom door opening. He kissed Remus quickly and then let go as a chubby second-year hurried in, not even glancing at the pair of them. Sirius stepped elegantly out of the door and held it open for Remus, who punched him on the arm in return.

"So where are we choosing to skive this week's instalment of Divination?"

"I'm going to take you back to the dormitories," Sirius murmured in his ear, as a first-year with his robes half on dashed past them, "and I'm going to make _sure_ you come this time."

Remus practically knocked the dormitory door off its hinges.

"Where have you two _been_? James told me to wait for you, he says he's not suffering through Divination on his own! And I'm going to be late and I'm going to get in _trouble_!"

The whining sound of Peter Pettigrew's voice was like a bucket of ice over both of their libidos. The smile that had been forming on Remus' face died, but he hid it well behind his usual cool expression.

"Well I suppose we'd better get a move on then," he said. "Lead the way, Peter."

As Peter hurried out of the dormitory, Remus squeezed Sirius' hand, briefly.


	5. Expecting A Good Time

It hadn't been a great lesson. Sirius had been too depressed to even try and see anything but doom in his tea leaves so James had been left to tolerate Peter's sense of humour, which was reserved for inclusion in a specific circle of hell. Remus, of all people, had managed to get a detention because he'd shaped his tea leaves into the shape of an anatomically accurate penis and the professor hadn't been greatly impressed. Sirius had avoided lunch with James by grunting something about 'not hungry', and was stalking the corridors of the seventh floor, kicking at any loose bricks he happened upon, which were few and far between.

He was pacing in a sort of weird rectangle through the castle, thinking about the current impossible situation with Remus. If only there were some place they wouldn't be disturbed and could enjoy each other in _private_. The thrill of being potentially caught was one thing, but being interrupted was quite another and Sirius really wanted just a few uninterrupted minutes- no, hours, better make it hours- to be able to take his time with the whole thing. He wouldn't be able to find any space back at the Potters' house, which he was gradually beginning to think of as his new home. Was it too much to ask for just one place of quiet?

He'd done about four laps of his chosen corridor before he realised he was doing it. Surely Remus' detention would be almost up by now. He was about to head for the entrance to the North Tower when a door he'd never seen before caught his eye.

He'd been down this corridor a thousand times. Barnabas the Barmy and the Troll Ballerinas, they were like old friends, admittedly old friends that you drew moustaches and knobs on and got chased down the corridor by Pringle for your trouble. But that door, that was new. He walked over to it and pushed it open, peering around the edge of the door. A puzzled frown invaded his face and he stepped through, shutting the door surreptitiously behind him.

"The hell?"

It was like a porn star's boudoir. There was a four-poster bed the size of Sirius' old bedroom, all red satin sheets and a big fur throw draped casually over it. There was a record player with some gentle lounge music on it, champagne chilling in a bucket and about half a million candles, arranged in an artfully random way about the room.

Feeling like an intruder in someone else's sex den, he crept over to one of the dressing tables and opened the drawer, looking for a clue as to who was meeting their lover here. The first drawer contained nothing but condoms and lube, and he shut it quickly. The other dresser had sex toys and bondage gear, some of which he stared at in bafflement before closing the drawer as quietly as he could. There was another door on the opposite side of the room and he opened it to reveal a gorgeous bathroom, with a whirlpool bath merrily bubbling away and more champagne. There were strawberries in a vase, too, for some reason.

Someone was clearly expecting a good time.

He left the room as quickly as he could, slipping a little due to a rose petal under his heel (rose petals? What sort of pretentious sod strewed rose petals about the room before getting laid?) and closed the door behind him, fearful that some teacher would come along and go in and then he'd never be able to get the mental image out of his head.

And he went to pick up Remus from detention.


	6. Need

"No, I swear it was here. Honestly. Barmy and the trolls, right opposite. It _was_!" Sirius' insistences weren't helping to remove the sceptical look on Remus' face.

"So there's a secret sex den right there which just appeared and now has gone again."

"Yes."

"Sirius, I don't know whether to punch you or try and de-hex you, but there's something wrong with your brain," Remus turned towards the staircase down to the Great Hall.

Sirius grabbed Remus by the arms to stop him leaving. "I swear on... on your life. I was walking around, just thinking, and then I noticed the door. It wasn't there before and it isn't there now. Maybe it's been bewitched."

"What, to react to tectonic events like your brain waves? What were you thinking of?"

"What do you think I was thinking of?" Sirius raised an eyebrow at him.

"You were seriously walking past the room thinking of sex and it turned into a sex den?"

"Hey, yeah, maybe that's it. Maybe it turns into what you need."

"Need, Sirius?"

"If you'd have felt my cock this morning you'd understand. Need."

"If I'd have been able to feel your cock this morning we probably wouldn't have this problem," Remus said, under his breath. Sirius laughed, then blushed, then shook his head.

"No, I think that's it. You know this castle is a bit mental. Maybe it does just turn up when you need it. It did look like a porn star's digs, sort of _too_ ready to be used for sex, if you know what I mean."

"Your standards for this sort of thing are too weird for words," Remus said, then the quiet was broken by Sirius' stomach rumbling. "I guess that's a vote for lunch before attempting to find the mythical doorway again."

"We _are_ coming back, even if it's the middle of the sodding night when James relaxes the whole Fuhrer tendency he's got going on right now."

"If he manages to make you go to History of Magic I may have to give him a medal."


	7. Think Frustrated Thoughts

The fire in the Gryffindor Common room was burning low as the last of the seventh-years trudged up to bed, only leaving them alone upon seeing Remus' Prefect badge. James had tried to stay up with them, but had left muttering something about 'beauty sleep' and 'ugly gits'. Peter had been in bed at nine on the dot.

"Come on then," Sirius said, standing up and rummaging under the cushion of the armchair where he had been holding court all night.

"What?"

"Magic sex den," Sirius shook out the biscuit crumbs that had gathered in the folds of James' Invisibility Cloak. "You and me. Unless you want to get busy here, in which case I'm sure those seventh-years will be back for the show."

"You are not seriously dragging me out of the nice, warm, cosy common room in order to take me halfway across the castle to a room which may or may not exist."

"But Moony," Sirius fluttered his eyelashes as he swept the cloak around his shoulders, "do you not want to be able to suck my cock in peace?"

"I'm being hit on by a disembodied head," Remus said drily. "Could my day get any better?"

He slipped underneath, with Sirius, and paused.

"Couldn't we just hide under here and I'll jack you off, it'd be simpler."

"James would kill me if I got spunk on his Cloak, you know that. Besides, you don't believe me and I _know_ that I'm right."

"If it actually doesn't exist, Sirius Black, I will personally strangle you," Remus said, climbing out through the portrait.

They shuffled along the hallway in silence, trying not to wake the sleeping portraits, until they came to the tapestry that Sirius remembered fondly from hours with a Muggle marker pen.

"It was right about there," he said, tapping on a bit of stone wall that didn't seem any different from the rest.

"So you were thinking about sex-"

"I was thinking about how crap it is to be continually interrupted when I'm with you, and how it would be nice to have a place to be alone together. It's not just libido with me, you know."

"Oh, Sirius, that's practically a Mills & Boon novel, coming from you."

"Shut up. Anyway, I walked past this bit a couple of times."

"Fine, so off we go then. Think frustrated thoughts."

"You won't be mocking me when it appears."

"I will personally strip down and bow before you if it bloody does."

"I'll hold you to that."

After two and a half passes of the corridor, Remus was rapidly losing patience with the whole escapade. "Maybe it only turns up when you're not looking," he said, sarcastically.

"Good idea," Sirius said, and steered Remus round a corner.

"I wasn't bloody serious," Remus said as they turned back towards the tapestry.

"Worked, though."

The Room of Requirement had appeared.


	8. I Like This Tie

"I do not bloody believe it."

Sirius slung an arm round Remus' shoulders, resisting the urge to laugh at the look on his friend's face, and opened the door, slipping the Cloak away from the pair of them to allow Remus to enter first. It was almost exactly as Sirius had seen it the other day, except the bed sheets were now black rather than red, so the rose petals showed up better.

"I told you it was like a porn star's den," he said, hanging the Cloak on a nearby hat stand, as Remus went over to examine the champagne.

"This is weird."

"I'm not complaining," Sirius flung himself onto the bed and nearly slid off the other side with the momentum. He recovered his balance and settled himself a bit more comfortably, knees hanging off the side of the bed, staring up at the canopy.

"Hey, there's a mirror under here," he said, absently straightening his fringe as he saw his reflection. He felt the bed sag beside him as Remus sat down carefully, slipping his shoes from his feet, then lay down next to him, arms folded across his stomach.

"So there is," he said, quietly.

Sirius took one look at Remus' facial expression in the mirror and rolled onto his side, brushing Remus' hair away from his face. "Something wrong?"

"Nothing."

"That's a long bloody face for nothing wrong."

"This just feels a bit... unnatural. Like someone's watching from behind one of the screens."

"So drink some champagne."

"That's what I mean. Champagne. I'd have settled for a gobful of firewhiskey and a snog in the Owlery."

"With owl shit all over you. Lovely," Sirius joked, then saw the worried expression on Remus' face. "Just look at me and my bloody gorgeous face and let the rest of this shit just fade into the background."

He pulled Remus' wrist to his mouth, kissed the pulse point and then the palm of his hand. He brushed his lips over each of the boy's fingertips, flicking his tongue out a little against the pad of his thumb. Then he folded Remus' fingers into his palm and laid his fist down over his heart.

"Just relax," he said, far more coolly than he was feeling. "Trust me, nobody's watching."

Remus raised his hand to Sirius' face, wound his fingers into the other boy's hair and pulled his mouth down for a kiss. Sirius slid Remus' robes away from his shoulder and Remus shook his arm obligingly out of the sleeve, leaving the robes behind as he sat up, breaking the kiss. Next to go was his blazer, which he tossed on the floor, hearing the clank as some loose change asserted its presence.

"I will never understand why you always wear full uniform, Moony," Sirius said, surveying Remus' grey jumper even as he shrugged off his own robe to reveal a shirt and a tie that was slightly askew.

"Keeps me safe from potential ravishers," Remus said, with a laugh. He didn't make any move to take his jumper off.

"I believe," Sirius said, leaning forward and releasing Remus' tie from behind his jumper, "you mentioned something about stripping off and bowing to me?"

"Oh, come on!" Remus protested, as Sirius tugged him inexorably forwards for a kiss. "I wasn't serious! You can't think I'm going to-"

He was interrupted by Sirius' lips crushed against his own, hard enough to take his breath away.

"I think you can keep the tie," Sirius said after a while, "I like this tie. But I do expect you to take the rest of your clothes off."

Remus pulled his jumper over his head, breaking Sirius' grip on his tie. His shirt almost went with the jumper, right up to his armpits, but then he disentangled the two and it fell back down again.

"Almost," Sirius said, getting up from the bed to go and pour himself a glass of champagne. He returned and set it down on the bedside table, before kicking his shoes off and settling down comfortably on the bed. The glass was halfway to his lips when Remus straddled his body, took a mouthful of champagne, set the glass down carefully and began to unfasten Sirius' shirt.

Sirius didn't say anything, just allowed Remus to fully unfasten the shirt, until it was only held together by the tie at the top. Remus deftly fixed that problem, pushing the shirt and the tie away from Sirius' shoulders and leaning down to kiss and nip at the other boy's collarbone. Sirius ran his hands up underneath Remus' shirt, round his back to where his shoulder blades pressed against his skin, then back round to the front to slowly unfasten the buttons of his shirt. After some awkward pulling he freed the shirt from underneath Remus' perfectly-knotted tie, and Remus shrugged it off, leaving the orphan garment hanging round his neck, the red and gold gleaming against his skin.

Remus shivered in the sudden cold, grabbed the glass of champagne and knocked it back in one, shuddering even more at the cold sensation down his throat.

"God, look at you," Sirius said, rubbing Remus' arms to try and warm him up a little.

"I'd rather not," Remus climbed off him and made a beeline for the champagne, which he brought back with him and plonked back on the bedside table, having first taken a swig straight from the bottle.

"No, I mean it. I don't think I've seen anything quite so-" Sirius ran out of words halfway through the sentence and instead took hold of Remus by the shoulders and kissed his neck, just on the one spot where he knew from experimentation that the boy was ticklish.

Remus twitched, and let out a sigh that turned into a laugh at the end. "All I wanted was a bloody wank, and we have to go through some romantic novel to get there."

"Are you sure that's all you want?" Sirius asked, taking Remus' chin and turning the boy's face towards him. Remus met his eyes, steadily. "Because I want to do things with you I've never done with anyone before. I'm not even practising this shit for when I get some girl falling at my feet, I just want-" he paused, then screwed his eyes shut and spoke as quickly as he could to get the words out before the blush arrived for the party. "I want you. I want to touch every inch of your skin. I want to be able to see you lying on this bed, completely naked and I want to know that I could choose to kiss any bit that takes my fancy. It's not fucking poetry or anything but it's the best I can do."

Remus stood up from the bed, and Sirius opened his eyes just as the blush arrived, bang on time as usual, to see pale hands on the buckle of Remus' belt, undoing it slowly. He looked up, towards Remus' face, and finding a sly smirk he more usually expected to see on his own. Sirius' mouth dropped open, and Remus laughed, a little nervously.

"Well I can be all self-conscious all night," he said, pulling the belt hole off the prong, "or I can just go for it and die of embarrassment in the morning."


	9. Say It And Die

Remus slipped the belt out of the buckle entirely and left it sitting in the belt loops of his grey trousers. His thumb ran around the edge of the button at his waistband and Sirius realised he was actually leaning forward a little.

"I could drag this out for _ages_," Remus said, still caressing the button. "Now I know how girls are going to take over the world."

The button was flicked open, and Remus took hold of the zipper with one hand. His erection was clearly visible through his trousers, it just seemed like he was enjoying the expression on Sirius' face too much to hurry. Sirius reached out, almost unable to help himself, and laid his hands on Remus' hips. Slowly, not resting any of his weight on Remus, he slid off the bed with a rustle of satin and sank to his knees on the carpet. He kissed Remus' hand, then took hold of the zip awkwardly between his teeth, pulling it all the way down, before sliding the trousers down and off Remus' body, to sit round his ankles in an awkward pile. He sat back on his heels, and looked up at Remus with a shrug.

"Sexier in the idea than in the execution?" he asked. Remus laid a hand on his head and Sirius could feel it shaking faintly.

"Definitely not," Remus said. "You have no idea how close I was... bloody hell, Sirius, you watch _some_ porn, you really do."

Sirius got to his feet, and slipped his fingers underneath the waistband of Remus' boxers, catching his thumbs on the outside and beginning to pull the fabric down.

"That's not very fair," Remus said, making no move to stop him. "You've still got your trousers on."

"You've got your tie," Sirius murmured in his ear. "And your socks. That's enough for me."

The boxers reached the top of Remus' thighs and Sirius let go, sending them to join the grey school trousers on the floor. He ran his hands over Remus' bare hips before following a predictable trail towards Remus' proud erection.

"Oh, Moony, you magnificent bastard," he said, curling his fingers around the hard length. "I'm flattered, really. All this for me."

"You sod," Remus growled at him, and Sirius laughed and let go, sitting back down on the bed.

"You owe me a bow, if memory serves."

Remus rolled his eyes, and dropped into the low sweeping bow they'd been taught several years ago as a prelude to a dance. He straightened up, and folded his hands behind his back, not bothering to hide any of his body from Sirius' wandering eyes. And oh, they were wandering.

Sirius lazily flicked open the front of his trousers- he'd never been one for wearing a belt, or indeed much in the way of uniform- and unzipped to reveal a distinct lack of underwear.

"You sly sod," Remus said, but couldn't help grinning. Sirius didn't fully remove his trousers, just sat there with his cock out, watching Remus appreciatively. "You prepared for this, didn't you?"

"Well I did tell you we were coming back," Sirius said, "so I nipped into the loo just after dinner and whipped 'em off."

"I bet that was a surprise for whoever was in there with you," Remus laughed, and Sirius reached out to take hold of his tie, pulling Remus towards him. There was an awkward moment with knees and then Remus was settled on the edge of the slippery satin bed, straddling Sirius' lap, naked but for his tie and socks. "This is a little weird."

"If this is weird," Sirius said, taking a swig from the champagne bottle, "I never want to be in a normal situation again."

He kissed at Remus' neck, slid one hand up to circle his nipple with a thumb, the other down to run over his thigh. He could feel the erection poking his stomach, and far from being annoying or amusing it was actually prompting him to steer the encounter away from the smiling and the joking and the talking and away to somewhere where there was no longer enough breath to do those things. The kiss turned into a bite, and he heard Remus' gasp as the skin bruised beneath his teeth. He nudged at Remus' side, and the boy took the hint and shuffled off him, moving down the bed, lounging on the pillows, his arms spread out like some kind of emperor.

Sirius kicked his trousers off and climbed up the bed to join him. He kissed a trail down the centre of Remus' chest, detouring for a few minutes to lick at an erect nipple, before following the path of Remus' oddly fair hair down his stomach and towards his cock. Sirius took a deep breath; if he couldn't do this he might as well go and drown himself in the whirlpool bath, because that would be his sex life for the year officially over and done with. He took Remus in his mouth, stopping when he felt the gag reflex about to kick in. Running his tongue up the ridge on the underside of Remus' cock, he reached the smooth head and licked a slow, lazy circle around it, looking up to see what effect he was having on Remus.

It was either ecstasy or torment, Sirius hoped it was the former. Remus was gulping down breaths as though he'd just come up from a dive into the Great Lake, and the fabric of the pillows was bunched in his hands, threatening to tear if he pulled any harder. He seemed to be whispering something under his breath, and Sirius smiled luxuriantly.

"Speak up, Moony," he said, licking at the head of Remus' cock, the taste of pre-cum sharp on the tip of his tongue. "I can't hear you."

"Sirius..." Remus' voice rose above a whisper, but his breath was still quick as he felt Sirius' mouth around him again. "Shit, that's so good..."

Sirius laughed, and the sensation against the head of Remus' cock caused him to buck upwards. Sirius sat up, containing all the choking he'd just felt into one quiet cough. Remus was breathing heavily, but he hadn't come yet and his eyes were open, pupils hugely dilated, watching Sirius as though he were a new piece of prey.

"I know, I know," Sirius said, with a grin. "I'm just too awesome for words."

Remus met his eyes with a slightly wild gaze, and Sirius looked at him for a few seconds before sliding up the bed in order to kiss him deeply. He climbed on top of Remus, grinding their hips together, and pinning his partner down. Remus shuddered underneath him, and Sirius felt a warm, wet sensation hit his stomach. He smiled, and went to kiss Remus again, but found himself pushed off. He sat back on his haunches as Remus sat up, swinging his legs over the edge of the bed and burying his head in his hands.

"Shit," Remus said, clenching his fingers in his hair. "I didn't mean to do that. Not so soon. I didn't-"

"Relax," Sirius crawled over to him and kissed him on the shoulder. "It's okay."

"It's fucking embarrassing is what it is."

"I'll take it as a compliment."

"I wanted it to last for longer, Sirius, I honestly did-"

"We've got all night, Moony. And we don't even have to leave in the morning, it's Saturday. We can stay here all weekend and I can find fifty different ways to make you come."

"I might die, Sirius, if they're all as damn intense as that."

Sirius laughed, and turned Remus around to kiss him on the lips, briefly. He reached down and ran two fingers up the sticky trail on his stomach, making sure Remus saw, and put them deliberately in his mouth, sucking at his fingers in a would-be erotic fashion that looked better on the girls in Playwizard. Remus didn't seem to mind, though, he fidgeted a little and his face twisted into a grimace.

"I'm practically in pain here, stop trying to get me ready for another one."

"Well I wouldn't want you to go to sleep because you're not paying attention," Sirius said. "And besides, I haven't seen your face when you come yet. I want to have that picture in my head for the lonely months I'll be wanking myself into a coma at James' house."

"Now there's a mental image that'll haunt me forever."

"In a good way, I hope," Sirius struck a bodybuilding pose, and Remus sighed.

"You really are a vain sod," he said, turning to face Sirius. He ran his hands down Sirius' chest, over the slight bumps of muscle in his stomach and down to the curves of his hip-bones, his palms slipping over the slick mess in the centre of Sirius' stomach. "I've made a mess of you, haven't I?"

"You could always clean me off."

"Not today, I'm afraid," Remus said gently. "I draw the line at having to lick my own cum up, thank you. Yours is a different matter, though."

His hand slid down between Sirius' legs, cupping his balls for a lingering moment before wrapping his hand round the shaft and stroking slowly up and down. Sirius' hands wound into his hair and pulled him close for a kiss, as his hand began to work a little faster, culminating each stroke with a flick of the wrist that made Sirius' breath catch in his throat.

"Oh god, Remus," Sirius groaned against his mouth.

"Say my name like that again," Remus smiled, as Sirius almost collapsed against his neck.

"Remus... fuck!" Sirius grunted, and came over Remus' stomach and still-hard cock. Breathing heavily, he sat back on his heels before falling sideways onto the pillows with a thump. From the midst of the satin and fur pile he grinned up at Remus. "Now we're even."

Remus threw himself down onto the pillows next to Sirius, and then shuffled over so he could feel the heat of Sirius' body against his own. "I like it when you say my name," he said, after a while.

"Why?"

"I suppose because you always call me Moony, it's a bit more exciting when you call me Remus."

"It's better than Honey-Pie, at least."

"If you start calling me Honey-Pie I'll beat you to death."

"The temptation to do so just doubled, you do know that, right?"

"Say it and die."

"All right then," Sirius said, wrapping his arms around Remus' shoulders. "I wouldn't want to die before I've seen your sex face, _Remus_."


	10. The Curse of a Brilliant Brain

The whirlpool bath was wonderfully warm, not too hot but just comfortable. Sirius sat in it up to his chest, arms resting on the outside of the tub, occasionally plucking a strawberry from the vase and inspecting it before sucking it off the stalk whole. Remus was trying to relax but the repeated motion was rather hypnotic and he couldn't quite take his eyes away.

Sirius caught him looking.

"It's not that fascinating," he said archly. "Now if I was eating a banana whole, I suppose that might be a bit different."

"There's no harm in looking," Remus said defensively, focusing his attention on the strawberry vase. He saw Sirius' hand come down, select one, and his eyes were inexorably drawn upwards, following the fruit's ascent.

"I could hold that there all day," Sirius said, after a while. He wasn't inspecting the fruit, but looking straight at Remus' face. "You look like a dog hoping for a treat."

"Look who's talking, _Padfoot_," Remus glared at him.

"If you want one, you could just ask, you know, they're not like a million miles away."

"Why are you even eating them? It's something like half past two in the morning."

"Well they're here. I suppose I'm trying to figure out why."

"Aphrodisiac properties?"

"As if I need an aphrodisiac," Sirius said, then without warning chucked the strawberry over his shoulder, where it rolled across the tiles. In a matter of moments he was pinning Remus to the outside of the tub, chest to chest, lip to lip. He drew back for a moment, to look at Remus' startled expression. "Bloody hell, you get sexier up close."

"You sure they're only strawberries?" Remus managed to say, between kisses. "No hallucinogens in there or anything?"

"Shut up," Sirius said, slipping his hands under the bubbles to fondle Remus' balls.

"Do you have anywhere that you won'tattempt to initiate sex?"

"It's a hot tub, Moony, it's _made_ for sex."

"Yeah, well, I don't want to get spunk in the pipes, thanks," Remus said and extricated himself from Sirius' grip. He climbed out of the tub and quickly wrapped a towel around himself. He wasn't quick enough for Sirius not to see his hardening erection.

"Moony," Sirius said, resting his arms on the edge of the bath and his chin atop them, "stop over-thinking, one day, please, and just give yourself over to the flow."

"It's the curse of a brilliant brain, Sirius," Remus said flippantly, and left the bathroom.

Sirius followed him, dripping wet but not bothering to towel himself down. He snuck up on the soft carpet and whipped the towel away, leaving Remus shivering as the water evaporated from his skin.

"Give me that back, I need to get dry."

"Over-thinking, Moony," Sirius said, throwing the towel over to land at the base of the hat-stand. "Remus. You haven't got anywhere to go, you don't need to be dry or dressed." He pulled Remus close, brushing some of the bigger water droplets off with his hands but not actively attempting to dry the other boy. His fingertips found an old scar that crossed Remus' back, and he traced along it with the pad of his finger.

"How many of those do you have?" he asked, quietly.

"Loads," Remus said flatly. "All self-inflicted. I hate them."

"I like them."

"Well, thanks, I'll be sure to make more next time we go out."

"No, I mean..." Sirius' voice was low, almost meditative, "they show what you've survived. You've been through how many months like that and you haven't given up, you go outside and you do it all the same again, and even though we're there to help you it must be so lonely."

"Just leave it, Sirius, I don't want to have this conversation. I'm not a charity case."

"No charity," Sirius pecked him on the cheek, the most chaste kiss they'd ever shared. "Promise."

He removed his hands from the long scars that criss-crossed Remus' back, down to an unmarked patch of skin just above his arse. Pulling Remus close against him, he took over, kissing Remus deeply and feeling questing fingers wind into his hair, holding him in place. He could still taste the strawberries, and the remnants of the sweet champagne on Remus' breath. There were so many things he wanted to say, most of them stupid and resulting in sentences that would trail off into wordless gesturing. He wanted to take out the feeling that was pouring from inside his chest and spin it through his brain until it came out in words, or art, or possibly song, and then Remus would know what he was thinking and how very proud and honoured he was to have a friend... no, a lover, who was so strong and so resilient.

Lover. That was a strange word. Sirius had long since dismissed 'boyfriend' as being a horrendously girly way to express a relationship, but lover sounded more grown-up and had a nice tone to it, sort of reverent. The main problem was that it contained the L-word, right there as a majority of the letters. That was a scary word and Sirius was skittering round it like a Doxy around a cleaning spell, being drawn in but really not wanting to.

"Remus," he said, very quietly, once he'd been let up for air.

"What is it?" Remus said, still kissing his lower lip lightly, infrequently.

"I..." Sirius began, then shot that idea down in flames before he could even form the first letter. "I trust you, you know that, right?"

"Yeah."

Sirius bit his lip. "You know when I said I wanted to try stuff with you that I've never done before?"

"Yeah?"

"I think I've thought of another one."

"Anything for you," Remus said, nibbling almost absently at Sirius' neck.

"I want us to have sex. Like, properly. You know."

"I see. And you want me to take it up-"

"Give," Sirius said desperately, just before the word 'arse' had begun to be formed in Remus' sentence. "I want you to- well, yeah. That. To me."

"Really?"

Sirius closed his eyes. "Yes. Yes I do. Don't ask me if I'm sure, because I'll change my mind and I don't want to chicken out of this one."

"I don't want to hurt you-" Remus began.

"Over-thinking, Remus. Curse of a brilliant brain, I know. Stop doing it. Just accept it's what I- what I want and go from there. If you really don't want to hurt me or upset me or whatever you'll do this for me."

"I'll do it," Remus said, doubtfully, kissing him on the cheek. "But if you want me to stop, for god's sake _say_ something."

"Promise," Sirius said, far more sincerely than he was feeling.


	11. Spur of the Moment Decision

A few minutes later they were lying on the bed, face to face, being terribly, massively, embarrassingly soppy and romantic, just kissing, holding each other, generally doing all the things Sirius was rather proud to be an amateur at. It showed his caveman status, practising romance was for girls, et cetera. But here and now, with Remus, he was happy just to drink in the sight, in the rosy glow from the candles, practically falling asleep but for his cock, which seemed to have woken up in the bath and was having a difficult time getting settled again. Sirius' leg was slung over Remus' body, and his arm was tucked underneath his head. Pins and needles hadn't shown up yet so all was well so far, as long as he didn't think about what was coming.

"So if I may ask," Remus said, reaching behind him to the bedside drawer, "what brought this desire for... you know... on?"

Sirius kept his eyes on Remus' face, didn't want to look at his hands and see the bottle of lube, didn't trust himself not to run, screaming and naked, through the corridors until he got back to his own bed with its fresh sheets to despoil.

"I told you, I want to do things with you I've never done before. Even if we only do this once, even if I'm too much of a wuss to take it, I want to do it with you."

"You don't have to," Remus said, slipping his hand through Sirius' legs. Sirius was prepared for pain, but not for the initial cold of the lube. He could feel Remus' fingers circling, getting ready to push in-and _there_ was the pain. Not as bad as that which he'd braced himself for, but then this was only the beginning.

"I know," he said through gritted teeth, "but I want to. I honestly do."

"I learned a charm the other week, when you were skiving, it's like a Muggle anaesthetic," Remus said, a little too matter-of-factly for Sirius' liking, considering the circumstances. "I could-"

"No," Sirius said, regretting the choice almost instantly as Remus eased another finger in alongside the first. "If I'm going to do this, I want to feel everything. If it hurts I want to know about it. If it's amazing I want to know about it."

"You know I'll do anything you want," Remus said, and Sirius felt the swelling temptation to ask for no more, he'd changed his mind, he wanted to go back to wanking each other off, it was easier, less painful. Another finger slid in, and Sirius grabbed Remus' face, desperately kissing him to stop from crying out. He tugged at Remus' lip with his teeth, even as he felt Remus draw away, withdraw his fingers, and gently start to roll Sirius onto his back. Sirius heard the telltale noise of a condom being slipped on, coupled with muted cursing from Remus, and then there were hands on his thighs, pushing his knees up towards his chest.

"I'll ask you one last time, Sirius Black," Remus said, "do you want to do this?"

Looking up at his reflection, oddly pale and terrified-looking, Sirius could feel Remus' cock pushing for entry, and he forced his voice to steady as he replied. "Just get on with it already. And don't stop unless I ask you to, okay?"

Remus leaned down to kiss him and Sirius felt the invasion begin. His eyes screwed up against the pain and he clenched his hands on Remus' wrists, so as not to end up thumping the mattress, trying to get away from it. Remus went in slowly, dragging the experience out until Sirius began to think there was just an eternal cock going to be sliding in forever and he'd never quite get over it.

And then it stopped.

"Are you okay?" Remus whispered, next to his ear. Sirius blinked a couple of times, ashamed to find tears had gathered in the corners of his eyes and now ran in streaks across his face, into his hairline.

"Don't ask stupid questions," Sirius said, almost relaxing. "I'm fine. I'll live." Remus shifted, just a little, and he bit his lip to keep from howling. "I'll be better when I get used to it, I promise."

Remus leaned down to brush the tears away with his lips, and started to withdraw, just a little. Sirius fought to keep his breathing steady and not to pull faces, not with Remus looking down at him with such _concern_, and not when he could see every cartoonish grimace reflected from above him. It wasn't so bad this time, and he let out a sigh that quavered a little but didn't catch as Remus began to push in again.

It started slowly, and Sirius managed to handle it, pushing what pain was left away into a corner of his mind and locking it away, pulling out the oddly pleasurable sensations transmitting from his prostate instead. He drew his nails out of the skin of Remus' forearms, seeing the little white half-moons turn purple and begin to bleed.

"Sorry about that," he said, running a thumb over the marks.

"Oh, don't make me laugh," Remus said, "seriously, don't."

Sirius winched a smile onto his face, looking up at Remus and his fair hair falling down about his face, the sweat starting to bead on his forehead as he began to pick up the pace, just a little, still scared of hurting his partner. Sirius felt his body begin to rock under the force of Remus' thrusts and reached up for the headboard, holding onto it to stop himself being jolted too much. Jolting was uncomfortable and besides, he was going to end up bashing his head if he wasn't careful.

"Do you want-" Remus began, and Sirius heard the catch in his breath.

"I do," he said, and was surprised to find himself as husky and as breathless as Remus. "I want you to."

The pace quickened again, and Sirius gritted his teeth as the pain that came with the increased friction reared up again, almost drowning out that feeling of pleasure roaring in his loins. Lube or no, this was still not meant to be an easy ride. He almost laughed at the thought, until he heard Remus' gasp above him and looked up.

If Sirius had been asked to guess Remus' orgasm face beforehand, he would have joked about a constipated look, lips pressed together and eyes wide. This, however, this he could have framed and kept on his wall forever. Remus' eyes were closed, his lips slightly parted, face slightly screwed up but still aesthetically unparalleled. Sirius had only a moment or two to savour it, and as he watched, the world seeming to crystallize around them in slow-motion, he was struck with an odd notion.

"I love you," he said, so quietly Remus probably wouldn't hear it above his own heavy breathing and the creak of the bedsprings. "Remus."

A sweaty head collapsed onto his chest and Remus withdrew completely with a groan, resting on his knees, face pressed against Sirius' chest. He took a few seconds to gather his breath and staggered off to tidy himself and dispose of the condom.

"You look like someone got you really good with a Jelly-Legs Jinx," Sirius said, lowering his cramped legs down to the mattress. His arse didn't feel like it would ever be the same again, but he'd done it and survived. He was almost proud of himself. Or he would be when he could stand up or even sit again without spasms of agony.

Remus returned to the bed in silence, and lay down next to Sirius, throwing an arm over his chest possessively.

"Thanks," Sirius said simply, kissing Remus' sweaty forehead.

"Any time," Remus said, with a hint of a laugh in his voice. "Next time you want to go to that sort of extreme, though, let me know _way_ in advance."

"It was a spur of the moment decision," Sirius said, waving a hand vaguely in the air.

"Like what you said just before?"

"Yeah," Sirius said, casually, but his whole body had suddenly gone cold. "I suppose."

"You're not supposed to say things like that and not mean them, you know."

"I know."

Remus didn't say anything, and Sirius turned to him, nudging his chin upwards so their eyes met, Remus' hazy and slightly tired, Sirius' still a little more alert.

"I, Sirius Black, love you, Remus Lupin. Now if that freaks you out then you can just go back to sleep and forget about it. I'm not having this whole awkward conversation right now." Sirius was feeling uncommonly mellow, considering his cock was still pointing straight up at the mirror on the underside of the canopy.

"I bet you say that to all the people who stick their cocks up your arse," Remus said, with a cheeky grin, but his face softened just a little as he saw Sirius wince. "That means I love you too, and I hope to god I didn't hurt you too much."

"I told you, I'll live," Sirius said, shifting a little uncomfortably on the sheets. "And it wasn't that bad, once you got, y'know, going."

"Now," Remus said, apropos of nothing, sitting up and stretching out, cricking his neck with an audible click. "Before I go to sleep, I believe there's a favour I need to repay."

"You've done me enough favours for the night already, Remus."

"Sirius," Remus said, settling down between his legs. "If I go to sleep next to you with that boner, I'll wake up with one eye less than I started with."

Sirius laughed. "That's probably the most flattering assessment of my cock I've heard in a while."

"Unless you're going to call my name repeatedly, please shut up," Remus said.

"Oh, _please_ is it-" Sirius began, then he felt Remus' hot mouth close around his cock and almost came right then and there. "_Remus_, bloody hell!"

He dared to look down at what was going on instead of up at his own stunned face in the mirror, and the sight of Remus setting to his task with an almost alarming enthusiasm was burned on his mind indelibly. So _hot_, Sirius thought, it should be illegal. He saw Remus' tongue flash out, licking messily at the head of his cock, and felt the corresponding shiver run up his spine. He was clinging to the sheets by the time Remus took him in deep again, and his shaking hand moved to take hold of Remus' sandy hair, trying to hold onto something to stop himself rocketing off somewhere unknown.

He came quicker than he would have liked, but with that mouth working on him there wasn't a lot he could do to hold it off. His fingers were wound into Remus' hair, probably causing some fairly intense pain, but they'd both lost themselves in the moment a while ago. He felt Remus' throat contract, swallowing, and then there was a whoosh of cold air to his cock and Remus was sitting over him, wiping his lower lip with his thumb.

"I decided not to over-think," he said, taking a brief mouthful of champagne, setting the bottle back down and crawling over into Sirius' arms. After some shuffling with the satin sheets they were both fairly warm and covered up.

"We sleeping here tonight then?" Sirius yawned. Remus just snuggled a little closer to him and promptly fell asleep.


	12. Pimp Sex God

Sirius awoke to bright sunlight through the window, and his own reflection squinting at him from above. He turned to the side, where his arm had gone to sleep due to Remus' head resting on the side of his chest.

"Wake up," he said after a good few minutes of watching the sunlight filter through Remus' hair, made ridiculously static by the pillows. He moved his arm, just a little, and Remus' eyes cranked open.

"Am I still dreaming?" he asked.

"Nope, although if this is your dream I'm honoured to be playing the role of Pimp Sex God."

"I _am_ awake," Remus groaned, and rolled over. Sirius followed him, planting a kiss on his shoulder.

"I'm afraid bacon and eggs are seven floors below us," he said, "but you can have me for breakfast any time."

Remus threw the sheets away from himself and climbed out of bed. "James and Peter are going to be freaking out when they wake up and we're not there."

"Well, say you had Prefect duties and I went for a walk in the grounds in the beautiful dawn morning etcetera."

Remus looked out of the window. "I think we may be a bit late for that sort of excuse."

"Why what?"

"It appears to be lunch time."

"Well, you'll think of something, with your brilliant brain and all that."

"I think my brain's slipped down a gear."

"That'll be me distracting you, I told you I was irresistible."

Remus threw Sirius' clothes in the direction of the bed, and paused when picking up his own crumpled shirt. "Are we going to ever do this again?" he asked, and Sirius couldn't quite decipher whether it was hope or apprehension in his voice.

"Maybe not in the magic sex den, if you get so freaked out by champagne," Sirius said, pulling his shirt on and standing up with a fleeting grimace. "But I would, if you will."

Remus seemed satisfied with that answer as he pulled the jumper on over his head. He was miles quicker than Sirius at getting dressed, and ended up finger-combing his hair using the mirror under the canopy whilst Sirius lazily pulled his shoes on.

"Can you look a little less like you just got laid, please?"

"I can try," Sirius said, and moved his tie about half a millimetre over.

"Well I guess I just have to hope James thinks you got with some girl. Be sure to big up the tits when you're telling the story."

"Oh, Sirius Black doesn't tell stories, he leaves people to speculate," Sirius said, tapping the side of his nose as he pulled the Invisibility Cloak down from the hat-stand and stowed it in a pocket of his robes. Then he stepped out into the mercifully empty corridor.


	13. Best Night of My Life

"Prefect duties," Remus said as he sat down in the Great Hall just in time for lunch. James, who had had his mouth open to frame the question, turned to Sirius instead.

"My Cloak was gone when I looked this morning," he said, pointing an accusing finger at Sirius.

"I guess it must have got mixed in with my laundry," Sirius said, sliding it out of his pocket and over onto James' lap. It was no major secret that he had the Cloak, but James didn't like it being flashed round too often.

"That is seriously the best excuse you can come up with?"

"Best you're gonna get," Sirius said, helping himself to piles of food. "Look, I needed to borrow it, okay, I gave you it back."

"I hope it was worth it," James scowled. "I'm never going to leave it unlocked again."

"Best night of my life."


End file.
